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godsmonkie

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??? [Tuesday
January 24th, 2006 at 11:51am]
[ mood | tired ]

I feel fine but my body is telling me different. I can't sleep at night and I hate being around people. I started caughing up blood yesturday and my nose hasn't really stop bleeding since it started last night at dance. I am weak and shakie. I don't know what is going on. I think I might go to the hospital and get checked out.

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Damn it!! [Wednesday
December 14th, 2005 at 9:33am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Okay, I was just fine until a minute ago. Who the hell puts a smile on the icon when you are mellow. I am sorry but I don't think mellow is a happy mood. For me it just means I don't have enough energy to kill someone. Plus, people are just stupid. And I hate stupid people. And stupid people piss me off.

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Wow. [Friday
October 14th, 2005 at 8:48am]
[ mood | sad ]

I am not even sure what to say any more. I just started crying in the middle of school. Shoot what else can I say. It is homecoming and I don't want to be here. I am excited for tonight. We are going to have a lot of fun... I hope we are just the stoners. We will see. O well. sick of my mom what is new. O and Lauren and Alli hang in there kids. I will be down in Huntington soon and you can camp out with me. I love you all.

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Shoot me Please!!! [Monday
October 10th, 2005 at 11:34am]
[ mood | bored ]

I just realized that I left a lot of my poetry and recent art in Joni’s van. I hope she doesn’t read it. I mean I don’t have anything to hide but it just isn’t really pretty stuff. I guess I will get it back this evening. I think I had to stop by the house for something but I don’t remember why. Shoot! Man, I have so much on my mind but it is nothing in particular or anything of real importance. I just want to go home and go back to bed. I hate being over at my mom’s house. She wakes me up. It doesn’t matter if I set my alarm she seems to always have this way of knowing when it is going to go off and she always comes in earlier to wake me up. I don’t like it. I want to wake up on my own. I feel like I am sent back to being two when I go to her house. I hate being dependent on my parents and I hate having to live by their rules. They aren’t necessarily bad rules but it is just the fact that I have to listen. I can’t get up and walk away. All I have to do is just keep telling myself soon. I will get out soon and it will all be okay. I will be able to go were I want and do what I want when I want. I am going to start being really tight with my money. I am going to try and up my car payments a little. As they stand now I have about 2 more years before I have it paid off. I am going to cut it down to 1 so before the summer of my freshmen year roles around I can have it paid for and nothing else will be tying me to my parents. I'm sorry I am just kinda babbling on because I don't have anything better to do. I really really really just want to go home and go to bed. I really don't want to go to 4th Wall tonight. I don't have the patience to do with stupid people and everyone outside the trailer crew is stupid. I hate haveing to deal with them. I was suppose to turn in a fiction piece last week and I just can't do it. I can't write something I don't like or that doesn't have a part of me in it. I am really having a hard time with this peice. I am putting a lot of my dreams in there and if there is one thing I share less then my writing it is my dreams. I don't know I should go work on it.

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